Sunday, January 15, 2017

Organizing LIFE

Happy New Year! It has taken me 15 days to finally settle in, make some goals and get started on my ultimate resolution; ORGANIZATION! What a project that is going to be for me.

Here is a list of what falls under that category:

1. Follow through on appointments re: Counseling, Physical Therapy and Diabetes Management.
2. Stick to my strength training, exercise regularly, and eat healthier.
3. Do my TO DO list!
4. Walk the dogs or go to the dog park EVERY day. They need exercise too!
5. Do my online trainings re: coaching, writing and self development.
6. SCHEDULE said trainings on my calendar and follow through!
7. Keep to my calendar by utilizing both a physical and virtual calendar.
8. Respond to emails/texts/phone calls immediately.
9. Schedule writing time like I schedule appointments.
10. Write EVERY day, no matter what it might be about.
11. Read EVERY day, if even for 15 minutes a day.
12. Make time for myself once a day doing something I love. Self Care!
13. Make time for my daughter(s) every day even if it's a phone call or just 15 minutes of focus.
14. Follow through on cleaning my house by creating a weekly schedule.
15. Budget each month and pay bills at the beginning of the month.
16. Create calendar for social media posts, including Blog.
17. Add one catch up project each day, like watching a webinar or doing one lesson.
18. Wake up early!
19. Get enough sleep every night, at least 6 hours.
20. Set a goal and intention, mark what I am grateful for and reflect on my day, every day.

This seems like a lot, but with the proper schedule it can all be done! What I learned from 2016, is that I really didn't follow through on any of my goals or intentions. I allowed myself to become distracted by trivial things and became an even bigger expert on procrastination. If I am going to reach my BIG goals, I have to master the small ones. Easy? No. Doable? Yes.

With all of this said, I do have to report that I am feeling very good about re establishing a trusting relationship with my parents. (Dad and Stepmom). It has been a slow process, but each time we get together it brings me more and more peace. My daughter and son-in-law moved back to town, so I also get to spend more time with them, which fills my heart even more. I want to try and mend some relationships that have seemed nearly impossible to do. For example, my half brother and sister on my dad's side, a handful of friends that I pushed away and particular friends that I actually hurt by betraying their trust. Creating and building my tribe is important to me this year. I have finally reached the point where being alone has turned into loneliness and that isn't a good feeling. Although, I have improved my life and found true self love, I am still isolating myself. The fear of being rejected is hard on me and I can see how my isolation has pushed friends away from wanting to spend time with me.

More than anything, I want to create a life that I can look back on with no regrets. I want to have experiences where I can continue to learn about myself, learn new things and find love, whether it is through a project, a relationship and/or just a consistent feeling of gratitude and happiness.

Don't get me wrong, I still fall down and have to start over, but starting over isn't nearly as hard as it used to be and the shame and guilt of failing is turning into reflection to know and do better the next time. Letting go of that critical voice inside of me isn't easy, but it's getting fainter and I am getting stronger.

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