Monday, July 2, 2012

"Birth" day

So, I did not catch on fire and shrivel up and die from yesterdays' post.  Good.  I woke up this morning with a new sense of purpose.  Maybe it was because yesterday was so heavy.  I did not have a very good night with my husband.  The "friends" part of our amicable divorce was nowhere to be found.  He just thinks I'm nuts.  And he is hurt, confused, stressed, scared....I just don't have anything left inside of me to make HIM feel better. And, I very seriously disappointed someone that I love very much.  Of course it is about money.  Always seems to be.... she helped me out of a very bad spot and our financial situation took a nose dive so she is in a lot of trouble.  All I can do now is try and help her the best that I can and honor my promise.  She has become like this angel to me.  I have to help her, I have to do the right thing.  I HAVE to be the strength for HER.

So, I have this new purpose... to have clarity.  to have courage. to face those things that are hard. to accept that some may not be OK with my choices. to love myself anyway.  to be re-born.

Then why do I want to stay in this coffee shop and not go home....

I want to avoid what is waiting for me there.  But, I can't.  I do have a beautiful little girl that is part of this equation.  God give me strength.  All of you out there, you are more important to me now than ever.  Please do me a favor.  Share this blog.  Post it on your Facebook pages.  Share it on Twitter.  Email it to family and friends.  I want to keep trying to reach more and more people...not just my friends and family.  The response that I have gotten has been overwhelming and I think I might actually be helping people.  just maybe.  That's a good purpose.

That is the BEST "birth" day present ever.

Peace, love and light!