Monday, May 21, 2012

Keep the faith

I have always struggled with religion and spirituality.  I've mentioned in past posts my experience with molestation and rape as a child.  I have always questioned my Native American spirituality based on these occurrences happening during a time when my parents were being mentored and guided by their spiritual guide.  And I was never really nurtured to pursue my interest in Christianity because my father left his Catholic roots before I was born.  I have dabbled and explored many forms of religion and I read the Bible in my youth because I wanted to know what everyone was talking about, but finding God has often alluded me because I questioned why HE was never there to protect me.  Without even knowing it, I think I have been more angry with God/Grandfather/Lord/Christ/Higher Power than I had ever even realized.  It hasn't been until very recently that I have realized that He has always been there and my questioning of Faith was more my questioning of "self" than anything else.

I consider myself open minded and I never wanted to be locked into a certain group because I am drawn to so many different aspects of many different religions.  So many things have been happening the past few weeks that it has become very clear to me that "fate" has intervened on more than one occasion and the common denominator is that no matter what your belief system, "FAITH" will get you through it.  It seems such a simple concept.  For me, it all goes back to forgiveness.  Forgive myself, forgive others and forgive God.  He has always had a path for me, even through the hardest moments.  It wasn't that He wasn't there, it is that He was holding me in his hands to help me get through it.

I won't spend many posts focusing on religion.  I believe we all have our right to believe in whatever feels good for us.  I will say that no matter who or what you "believe", the power of prayer is so important.  When you are going through those tough times, please allow yourselves the time to be still, to meditate and to ask for the answers you need.  They will come to you with a little faith.  With that said, God spoke to me on Saturday morning.  No lie.  It was like nothing I have ever felt or known in my life.  It doesn't change the struggle. It does give me more strength than I ever realized I had.  And, I know, without a doubt that I have many angels around me that have been put in my path to to forge ahead.